February 2012
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I spend a lot of time convincing myself that I’m not scared anymore, but then I have these dreams and I know that I am. Because dreams are what happens when you AREN’T trying to control everything. The things you dream are your deepest fears and wishes and regrets and secrets. In some ways, my dreams are more real than reality.
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I did nothing remotely productive today.
Gotta rest up now, I have a full day of damning my procrastination tomorrow.
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Why valentines day shouldn't be a big deal to...
Let me be clear, I’m not hating on the day in general. For people with significant others, crushes, spouses, secret loves, etc, the day has a place. I think it’s honestly great to have a day where you show the people you love what they mean to you. But, to me, being upset on valentines day because you’re single seems a little bit like being upset during Hanukkah because you...
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Fuck.
My iPad hasn’t been backing up since I got it and it just updated and I lost EVERYTHING including all of my notes for this semester from two classes and a bunch of data for chem lab and a bunch of sketches I had done. And because apparently it never worked when I tried to back it up, although it SAID it had worked, I couldn’t restore any of it. Sometimes I fucking hate goddamn...
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We’re all hiding from real life.
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Talk
It can be easy.
But easy talk is pointless.
Filler— like white noise.
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January 2012
33 posts
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FOUND:old useless high school note.
lettingthegoldenhourslipby:
so my best friend and I were so cool during high school (still are) that we made up a code so we could write notes back and forth during class an lunch and no one could ever read what they said. (they never said anything interesting anyway mostly “today i had pb&j, math sucks.”) Anyway i just found one that i never gave her. 3 years later i have no idea what it...
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Tomorrow
Wake up at 6:30 am, weightlifting at 7, shower and look presentable, basic drawing at 9:40, INTERVIEW FOR HALL COUNSELOR APPLICATION 11:15, lunch, chemistry homework, sprint workout at 4:30, training room for my shins, dinner, more chemistry homework…
I’m kind of freaking out about this interview. I really want to get the position but I’m not exactly known for my ability to hold...
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I have a good memory.
And, most of the time, it’s the memories that keep me up at night. With my eyes closed, I relive the past. Most of the time, I can see it— it’s a jerky picture, like an old movie playing back in my head. Sometimes there’s no real picture— it’s just the words I remember, whether they were spoken or the ones that were pounding around in my head at the time. It...
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“Apathy isn’t a way of life— it’s a way of waiting around to...”
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My art professor told us we should all get Tumblr...
I think I’m going to like this class.
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Seems like I'm cut out for roadtripping after all
I drove back the 6 hours to school by myself. I can say I honestly liked it a lot. Maybe just because i’m a new driver, but I still had to focus enough on the actual driving part that it wasn’t like sitting alone with my thoughts for 6 hours. It was mindless, really. I could focus on the literal road ahead so I didn’t have to think about the figurative one.
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“She wondered again at her inclination to wish for things that made her so deeply...”
– Ann Brashares
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Life advice from my mom:
Back up your hard drive.
Use contraception.
Never pour rice down the sink.
If something hurts, take Advil.
While driving, always expect the other guy to do something stupid.
Drink lots of water.
Wear layers.
Use every minute.
Make lists.
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A stream of consciousness.
I bought a lot of new itunes music today. I like getting itunes giftcards for christmas. I’m not a fan of other giftcards though. Mostly because I always forget I have them and they end up sitting in a desk drawer. Plus I am not a big shopper. I’m excited that my dad is giving me his old car. I’m excited to drive down to school by myself too. I’ve never really done...
“Don’t tell me our youth is running...
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December 2011
38 posts
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